I dislike gatherings with a big bunch of people I feel tired talking to. I've been hiding in my room for an hour now. My dad keeps convincing me to get out cause it's 'not nice' and 'not normal', so I went out to the living room and saw people already in their groups. One playing card games, another consisting of 26 year olds discussing about.. i don't know what, another one with adults. I walked around and thought it'd be weird to join. So I here I am again. I wouldn't mind listening to them, but they'd ask questions about you most of the time, and I honestly don't feel like talking today. Especially not stuff like "how's school". I want to talk to someone badly right now because there's finally going to be a little more space for me to think. Let's just see how things go. Maybe I'll type them out when being in front of the computer does not feel like a sin.

There was a ponya cny gathering yesterday as well. Felt odd there and escaped after the main highlight for the event. I guess I have to ask myself why I decided to hang out with other people right at the start (that made me unfamiliar with my house mates), but I'm ok with how things are anyway. At times I get disturbed by how the people I hang out with feel I'm nothing but retarded, but I realised it's a good thing. I feel so comfortable around them (even if I'm not close to all) and rarely think without speaking.

update: another childhood friend came later into the night and things got a little better.